Everyone was downstairs. I hated my door for not having a working lock. I looked around nervously, trying to find something to block the door. Nothing. I took a deep breath, walking over to my dresser. I felt so stupid; I was unable to believe I was dumb enough to do this. I went through my memory, trying to remember my mission. Step left, step right, step left, step right…
I pressed the button on my iPod and stood in the middle of the room. I waited until the music came on… Ahh freak out! Le freak, c’est chic. Freak out!
Have you heard about the new dance craze?
I suddenly remembered exactly what to do. I burst into action, doing all the moves perfectly. I let my mind blend into the music, forgetting everything else. I didn’t take in how clumsy and stupid I looked, I didn’t care about the sweat dripping from my hair, I didn’t even notice the sound of someone coming up the stairs…. With no warning (that I noticed, anyway), my sister, Beanie, opened the door. I froze where I stood, my hands in the air. Six-year-old Beanie stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open. I didn’t even have to turn around. I knew she was staring at me. “CAMERON!!!!!!” Beanie screamed at the top of her lungs. Oh my god! NO!
My older brother, Cameron, came in, taking in my ridiculous outfit, the 70’s disco music still playing at top volume, my interestingly questionable pose.
He blinked and motioned for Beanie to leave the room. Beanie giggled and screamed down the hall, “JOEY!!! COME SEE LUNKWILL!!!!!”
Yes, my name is Lunkwill. As if my life wasn’t bad enough already. Beanie’s twin brother came to see what was going on. I had turned around by now, so I could clearly see that Joey had the same expression as Beanie probably had when she came in. My face was on fire, from exercise, from this stupid costume, from embarrassment, I didn’t know which. Probably all three of them. As the music ended, my sister, Kathy, came in. Oh, great. She wasn’t nearly as bad as Cameron, though. Well, at least Liz isn’t- Oh, look, there’s my wonderful older sister, Liz! Brilliant.
Breaking the silence, pale-faced Cameron said weakly, “Lunkwill?”
I swallowed, my face burning up. “Yeah, Cam?”
Cameron studied me and said hesitantly, “What are you doing?”
How was I supposed to answer?
“Lunkwill,” Kathy said, her eyes wide, “Are you gay?”
Cameron shook his head, “What do you think, Kathy?”
I felt like crying. I stamped my foot stupidly, “No, I’m not gay! I just like the dance!”
Kathy nodded and Liz groaned, “Oh my god, Lunkwill! You are so weird!”
Well, you’re not too normal yourself. I wanted to say, but I had the right to remain silent at this terrifying moment.
I swallowed, running my fingers through my bright red hair awkwardly. Cameron shook his head and led my younger siblings and Liz out of the room.
Once they were gone, Kathy came up to me, a sincere look on her face. I didn’t say anything and she put her hands on my shoulders.
“Lunky,” God, I hate it when she calls me that. “You know, it’s okay if you’re gay…”
“I’m not gay!” I practically yelled, “I told you, I-I just like the dance…”
Kathy nodded, not looking like she believed me, “Okay.”
She turned and left the room and I ran my fingers through my sweaty red hair again. I kicked the chair next to my desk and almost swore. I really need to stop kicking things.
I sat down at my desk, turning on the light. I took out my journal (it’s not a diary, diaries are for girls); a red book with a lock on it that my mom got me for my birthday last year. I didn’t bother telling her that I hate the color red.
I turned the key in the little lock and opened the book to the first blank page. I began writing:
Dear Journal, I just experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I um…. I guess I can tell you; you’re my journal. No one will ever see this… I hope. Anyway, I put on this stupid outfit (I don’t know why I did. Dramatic effect, maybe? And I’m not gay.) And I was doing the dance to the song Le Freak by Chic. It was really lame. Then, Beanie came in and (of course) hollered for Cam to come see me and soon enough everyone was there. It was really embarrassing. I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to fit in anywhere. I try to have a little fun and end up humiliated, I mope about how much my life sucks and everyone thinks I’m some kind of freak. Either way, I don’t have any friends and pretty much everyone thinks I’m stoupid. Crap, that’s not how to spell it, is it? stupid.
I just wish I could find one person in this world who didn’t hate me. One person. Well, sorry to bore you.
Love,
Lunkwill; the kid with the horrible name and no life.
I read what I had just wrote, sighing. My life really isn’t that bad, I just have no friends and everyone hates me…
I guess my sister, Kathy, doesn’t hate me. She thinks I’m just some peon whose purpose on this planet is cleaning up after Beanie and Joey, but she doesn’t hate me. I guess that’s one.
